notkinkypatch | "Speaking of Crossovers, Don't Forget about Alien vs. Predator"

Nooooobody knoooows the amount moldy ass brushes I've seen todaaaaaaaaaay...nooooobody knoooows my sorrrroooowww....[Badou croons, loitering leisurely as fuck longways on a steel bench.
Now, that's not the surprisi-...weir-...uncharacteristic part.
It's the setting. The fact that he's crammed in a jail holding cell with about five other dudes and one chick (maybe??? those teats are pretty hair but...but in his soul, he felt it. The beating heart of a pureish maiden).
Okay, okay, fine, asshole. That's not the surprising part. What's surprising is how calm he is. A cigarette dangles between his lips, aiding in the musty atmosphere within, but he hasn't pissed his pants. Hasn't cried. And only did a little begging, certainly not on his knees.]

Dunno what you're so happy about. Here I was thinking Nails' brother had finally grown up and got a little responsibility., Then, low and behold, here you are at a bust, hair flying, boogers imminent. Damn kids these days...between you and Mimi- [The owner of the familiar and permanently irritated tone when Addressing a Nails was the one and only Doug, the mustache'd copper extraordinaire. He grouches at the redhead from the other side of the bars, steaming coffee in hand.]

Mimi's got her own shitplate, don't try to give me some of her sides. I don't even fuckin' like peas... [Badou cracks his eye open and snorts, wisps of smoke leaking from his nostrils.] More like bustin' nuts. Nice to know you were bustin' a nut thinkin' bout me too, Doug ol' pal. I just thought I'd stop by, see a few'a my old buddies. God damn, you guys look like the pieces of shit you coax on their knees in the alley on sixteenth.

[His sass is met with mostly harmless intent laughter. A well kept figure of a man, fucking furs, FURS, draped over his narrow shoulders, settles against the bench, pushing Badou's long legs aside, and damn near purring his point] Some shit never changes, mini Nails. Still as ballsy as ever.

[Badou and his 'mini' Nails let out a nervous huff and quickly slides to a sitting position, hands on his knees. Just in case.] How bout we keep Nails' balls right where they are, thanks. I'm gonna need those when I get outta here in a minute or two.

[Funny how when Heine said he'd pay his bail, HE FUCKING NEVER SHOWED HIS LAZY, IGLOO PALE ASSHOLE TO DO SO]

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[Maaaaan, all through her explanation, Badou can't fathom how she's as cool as a cucumber. Maybe...a little too cool. The story itself wasn't fishy, girl like her wasn't a thief. Old ladies are cranky as shit, especially in the face of hot babes. Jealousy is wrinkle-y and green. It was the distracted pause and that piss poor example of her fabulous smile that had his PI senses tingling. He releases a plume of smoke to buy himself some time before replying]

Fuck them old ladies, man. Most of em try to be all cute an sweet- until they accuse you of ooglin' their husbands, abusin' their pussies, an then they turn around an poison their stale as ass cookies.

[Welp if she's going to throw some cute acting out there, he might as well join her.] A criminal? Me? C'mon, baby cakes. Could a face like this ever commit a crime? [Cue his own pout and fluttering eyelashes. Don't get cuter than this, mang. This doesn't include passionate crimes against the bod, btw] I was just here visitin' these piss poor fuckers. I've known some of em since I was a brat so I thought I'd come rub their noses in my success.

[From his front row seat at his desk, Doug let out a mocking sigh, mustache twitching with the force of the smirk he couldn't hide] Maaaaan, it's a good thing Mimi isn't here. She'd Xena warrior princess your ass, Badou. Two timer.

[The accompanying cat calls from his fellow cell-mates is met with Badou's middle finger] I think the only one jealous here is you, asshole. Don't try to push your creepy fantasies off on me, weirdo. You gotta learn how to treat a lady. Prime example, my bff Alex, here. Tsk, tsk.

(SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG I STARTED READING A FIC AND FORGOT TO REFRESH THE PAGE! ....who is Barry again.....I'm gomen it's been forever since I've read)

Edited (edits like twenty times until i'm satisfied) 2013-03-26 09:51 (UTC)

[Alex definitely can't disagree with Badou's words about those damn old ladies. Sure Big Mama Georgiana was nice to Alex, but she really seemed to be the only exception. All those other hags would do nothing but shoot dirty looks at the former-prostitute as if she was dirtying the already-fucked up streets. She's learned to deal with it, but it's obviously not the nicest thing to cope with.]

[So Alex nods firmly to what Badou says, and it looks like she isn't all that convinced by the fire crotch's explanation as to how he wound up in jail himself.] "Something tells me that's not entirely true..." [She says those words under her breath, but it's that goofy charm of Badou's that makes the young woman resist saying anything to put him down. He couldn't have done anything that bad, right? Right??]

[The cop sitting near the cells at his desk doesn't seem that convinced by Badou's story. In fact, it's almost like he knows the red-head a little bit. Just how well is anyone's guess. But what Alex does do next when Badou jumps to his defense is put an 'oh god, what are you even saying Badou you big dumb' expression on her face. Aaaand she's also getting kind of nervous being in this jail cell all by her lonesome. In fact, she can start to hear a horribly-familiar laugh quietly sounding in her mind. In any other situation, Alex could simply make that laugh go away with the pop of a pill or two, but she's not so lucky this time.]

[Her casual demeanor instantly changes to one that's much more tense. Alex's legs begin to shake and she takes a seat on the metal bench in her cell, glancing at the guard, then Badou, then the ground, and the guard again. She's gotta ask nicely to get her way, and Alex knows just how to do it.] "Ah, hey..." [Alex calls to the guard, trying to put up a friendly front despite her legs still shaking.] "Would it be too much of a hassle for you to bring Badou over to my cell? I'm getting kind of lonely in here..." [She doesn't know if the guard is gonna take this the wrong or not, and she doesn't know if she wants him to take it the wrong way or not, either. Welp.]

[Her smile at the end is faint, but Alex hopes that her learning forward and showing just a tease of that cleavage is enough to convince the guard.]

"Hehehe... Still stuck playin' the whore, are we, babe?" [Oh Barry, not now... Not now.]

(( Shhh shhhh it's daijoubu no worries~ Barry's ya know the guy who was like Alex's pimp before Nic and Worick killed him and Alex has those like hallucinations of seeing him being all creepy and following her around sometimes. ))

[Welp, Badou's Danger Zone senses were right (as fucking usual). Something is definitely bugging Alex if the shaking legs and desperate request are anything to go by. Concern pangs] Yeah Doug, can't leave the sexy babe all by her lonesome. Gentlemanry Pointers That Get Gentleman's Mustache a Ride numero thirty seven.

[There's a comment about mustache grooming somewhere in the background but it's dully ignored. Doug rolls his eyes and fixes a bitchface at Badou. Compelled by the show? Not so much] What are you, a doctor now as well as a pain in the ass for my paperwork hand? I thought you cut that Doctor Love shit out when you were twelve. I have no reason to treat you like a special snowflake. This is the justice system not hold Badou's hand system.

[Over the laughter that follows, Badou's expression shifts to an uncharacteristic serious one. He raises one eyebrow and pantomimes buffing his nails all casual like. Real smooth ] I don't wanna have to fuckin pull a Mimi on you, brah, but I've known you since we were both in short pants. If you can't even use that justice of yours to aid someone in need, regardless of what side of the goddamn bars they're on, then I think I'm doin a damn good job at my job. [His lips split into a devious smirk]

I might pay Daniella a visit when I get outta here...tell her alllll about that night on May 17th...what happened in the back of that greasy patrol car...

[Doug turns several interesting shades of red, purple, and green before vaulting from his seat, keys in hand, and growls] You're just like your brother, a nosy manipulative shit! I don't know whether to congratulate you for gaining a level or beat your ass.

[Badou shoots a triumphant thumbs up at Alex as he's lead over to her cell] Doctor Nails is here for a check up. Say aaaah, babe~

((OHHH THAT'S RIGHT! Well Badou will try his best to help her ;))

Edited 2013-03-28 06:25 (UTC)

"Speaking of Crossovers, Don't Forget about Alien vs. Predator"

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