IM VOMITING

[notkinkypatch]

Dave: THE PENIS PCITRURE
me: I KNOW~
i thought of you instantly =u=
Dave: DURING ONE OF THE MANY "IM SO BROKE" TIMES,
DAVE CAME UP WITH A GET-RICH-QUICK SCHEME
Me: IOJOIAHFDLAN
NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
NONONONONON
........GO ON
I WANT TO KNOW
Dave: PENIS PORTRAIS
Me:[DOAEGFA FUCK!!
I CANT RBEATHE
AND HE GOT LITTLE GLASSES
AND LITTLE HATS
AND LITTLE CUPS OF TEA
FOR HIS DICK
Dave: IM CRUNGI
Me: AS PROPS
IM GURGLING
Dave: WHEEZ
Me: QUEEZE
Dave: AND HE HAD A LITTEL SQUEAK TOY
"LOOKIT THE CAMERA!!! LOOIKIT TEH S CAMERA"
Me: POJFDPOJAGPFODJAFDA
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
NONONONONONONNO
HES GOING TO BE ARRESTED!!!!
AND DOUG
THAT COP HE WAS FRIENDS WITH
WILL JUST WALK IN
Dave: FUCK
ALL SOMBER AND DISAPPOINTED
TAKE ONE LOOK
WALK OUT
AND BE LIKE
Dave: COIMF
CIF
M
IMG
CRYI
Me: BOOK HIM AND DONT PULL HIS PANTS ON
LET HIM DO THE WALK OF SHAME
WHEN I'M OVER THERE
NOT LOOKING
Dave: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Me: IM
DONE
and badou knows nothing of this
so when he comes home from "school"
he just sees dave
with his pants around his ankles
and a hat on his dick
walking calmly to the police car
im s;pnbbering
i cant do this
Dave: IMD ROL
DROL
DOELLL
DORLL
DROL
Me: AND HES NOT EVEN SURPRISED
HES LIKE
WE DONT HAVE THE MONEY TO BAIL HIM OUT
SO MAKE SURE RON TREATS HIM REAL NICELY
Dave: -CUT TO RON SMIRKING IN A CORNER-
DAVE'S HATTED WEINER SUDDENLY FLOPS OVER
Me: rubbing hair grease on his dick
Dave: IOHDA[OIGHFA
Me: FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dave: HIS WEINER IS UPSIDE DOWN BUT SOMEHOW THAE HAT IS STIL ON??????
Me: MY STOMACH HURTS
IM SOBBING
HOW IS HE SO TALENTED
YET SO UNEMPLOYED
AND FAMOUS ON THE INTERNET
Dave: HE HAS NO IDEA HE'S INTERNET FAMOUS
EVERY NOTABLE FVIDEO OF HIM HAS BEEN CAPTURED WITHOUT HIS KNOWING
NAILS ARE TO POOR FOR INTERNT
AND WHEN HE FINALLY
FINALY
SEES HIMSELF
Me: WHO THE FUCK CAPTURED THESE VIDEOS?!?!?!
NOT BADOU
Dave: HE WILL WONDER
Me: HE'D SEND THEM TO AMERICAN'S FUNNIEST HOME VIDEOS
Dave: INNOCENT BYSTANDERS
AND THEY'D CUT OUT HIS DICK
UMCR GYIN
Me: I CANT DO THIS!!!!!!!
it was probably an ex girlfriend
Dave: FUKC HAT
THAST
Me: who he tricked into fucking him
Dave: ENVEN BETER
Me: but he didnt use a conndom
he casually
JUST A HAT
slipped a candy wrapper
around his dick
in the dark of night
Dave: NO!
OIJG
OS
\FGJO
SDNOF
ON
NGFO
NO
Me: and his dick
Dave: HON
FGON
Me: forever
Dave: ONWEONE
Me: smells like paydays
Dave: NOOONNO
NOSDNF
NO HE
HE USED A WEIERN HAT
Me: TO BE KINKY?!??!?!
THATS LIKE=
WHAT IF HE
DRESSED IT AS A LEPRECHAUN???
FOR ATHEME SOMETUIM
Dave: PROBABLY TEXST RUNING THE IDEA
IM CRYING
Me: IM ACTUALLY WHEEZING